


we are always war zones

by somehowunbroken



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: BIG ONES, Gen, Identity Issues, Stream of Consciousness, cap 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1418006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier is a tool. The objectives are never a challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we are always war zones

**Author's Note:**

> I... wrote a thing. A Bucky thing. It's kind of weird. Sorry? (No, not really, but.)
> 
> VERY BIG SPOILERS for Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Read at your own risk.

There are machines, and there are targets. There are instruments, and there are missions.

The Winter Soldier is a tool. The objectives are never a challenge.

Until the blond man on the bridge. The Winter Soldier looks at the man, and there's a spark, something – something – it's out of reach, something that he-

He. He? Is he a-

No. The Winter Soldier is a tool, a machine, an extension of HYDRA's reach. The Winter Soldier is not a man.

-0-

There's a mission, the handler says, and puts a folder on display. The Winter Soldier nods and looks and memorizes and never, never thinks about the man in the file, the woman with him.

Your objective is two confirmed kills, the handler says.

The Winter Soldier nods.

The objectives are never a challenge.

-0-

They run, though.

The man and the woman are in a car. Not a problem. The Winter Soldier is accustomed to chasing the objective. Those who are about to meet their ends rarely wait and greet them quietly. There are other men in the car, but they're just in the way; the Winter Soldier has the skills, the equipment to finish the job.

The objectives are never a challenge but _this one is_ , this is a challenge and another challenge on top of that. It makes blood sing through veins and adrenaline pump through bodies and sweat roll down faces and the Winter Soldier smiles beneath the mask, kicks and twists and shoots and punches but they run, they run.

They move around and they run, and the Winter Soldier leaves the mask behind when it falls because the mask is not the objective. The objective is the man, the man staring at the ghost that lives within the Soldier's body, eyes, limbs.

"Bucky," the man says, stunned.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

Nobody, nobody, the voice says from nowhere. Ignore. Kill. Kill.

The Winter Soldier leaps for the kill but is forced to draw back. It doesn't matter. There are others racing in, and there will be another mission.

-0-

Who the hell is Bucky, though?

-0-

 _I knew him_ , the Winter Soldier thinks. _I knew him. Before_.

There's no use in saying it out loud. There are protocols, there are rules, and memories are outside of those rules. Memories are, thoughts are, but the decision to conceal concerns both a thought and a memory.

In the end, the question slips out, not on purpose, uncontrolled. "I knew him?"

Questions, though, questions are worse than memories and thoughts and autonomous decisions. The Winter Soldier opens up ( _his mouth, his, his_ ) and bites down and _forgets_.

-0-

The handler prepares a slideshow. Protect this, the handler says. Do not let anyone get near it. Destroy anyone who tries. Kill. Kill.

The Winter Soldier nods. Kill. Killing is easy.

-0-

"Don't make me fight you," the man begs on a bridge (another bridge, another-). The Winter Soldier doesn't know why. There's no recognition. This man is nothing.

Except-

_"'til the end of the line, pal-"_

_"-taking all the stupid with you-"_

_"-thought you were smaller-"_

_"ready to follow Captain America into the jaws-"_

_"-isn't payback, is it-"_

_"-Bucky!"_

Fragments. Pieces. Not memory. False.

Not false, something insists. Bucky. Bucky.

No, the Winter Soldier thinks calmly. No.

They fight.

They fight and they fall, and this man – he's almost as good as the Winter Soldier is, almost as fast and as deadly. He hesitates, though, and he shouldn't, because he is nothing, nothing-

_"-not without you-"_

No.

Kill.

Except the objective is – the objective is a challenge.

-0-

There is pain, pain like _losing an arm falling from a train freezing to death again and again_ nothing the Winter Soldier has felt before. There's metal everywhere, around and under and atop. There's another failed objective. The handler won't be happy.

There's – the man, coming back down, falling and sliding and stepping, hauling the wreckage up. The Winter Soldier attacks, because the mission might not be a complete loss if this man can be defeated, but…

The man smiles crookedly. There's blood, and there's bruising, and there's something in his eyes that's entirely accepting. "I'm with you 'til the end of the line."

Explosions. There are explosions, and a split-second decision to make.

The Winter Soldier shoves the man through the glass and dives after him.

-0-

There's – there are things to figure out. The protocol is to return to base, but the man is safe, safe instead of dead, and-

There are things to figure out.

-0-

 _James Buchanan Barnes_ , the plaque says. _Bucky_.

There's information, height and weight and birthday and date of death, expect it's wrong, wrong because that's his face and the Winter Soldier is not-

Is not-

He's not-

He.

He _is_.

And he will be again.


End file.
